Tuesday, July 12, 2011

All Douche Teams....

In honor of the All Star Teams, Mr. Brian Snodgrass and I have compiled our all Douche Teams.  Enjoy.


Catcher - Yadier Molina
Don't really need an explanation, the guy is huge douchebag.
First Baseman - Mark Hamilton
Luckiest player ever, two hits against the Reds, went about 200 feet.  Douche.
Second Baseman - Darwin Barney
Nice name, loser.  And you look Asian and you're not.  Double douche.
Shortstop - Edgar Renteria
Wouldn't play third, can't play short, can't hit, thinks he's good.  Douchebag.
Third Baseman - Pablo Sandoval
Dude, your nickname is the Panda.  And you think it's cool.  Douchebag.
Left Fielder - Carlos Lee
You're fat, and you don't care, yet you have 100 million dollars, and don't try.
Center Fielder - Colby Rasmus
This guy just looks like a douchebag.  If you look that bad, then you win.
Right Fielder - Hunter Pence
No explanation needed again.  Can't stand this guy.  Definitely huge nerd in high school.
Starting Pitcher - Carlos Zambrano
Yell at your teammates, everyones fault but your own, ya, you're a douchebag.
Starting Pitcher - Madison Bumgarner
You're not a stripper or porn star?  Really?
Reliever - Tyler Clippard
Nice glasses douche.
Closer - Heath Bell
No one ever slides in the infield when they are ready to pitch, so you shouldn't either.  Douchebag.
Manager - Tony LaRussa
Nobody likes this guy.  No one.  Not even his douchebag all star team.


Catcher - AJ Piersynzski
Everyone in the league hates this guy.  Rich Aurilia even told a whole story about it.  What a douchebag.
First Baseman - Justin Morneau
Who sits out four months with a concussion?  It's baseball.  Pussy.
Second Baseman - Howie Kendrick
Nice name.  You sure you aren't suppose to be a white redneck???
Shortstop - Asdrubal Cabrera
Another ridiculous name.  Ass dribble more like it.  And you aren't good either.  Ride your wave, loser.
Third Baseman - Alex Rodriguez
Nice purple lips.  You're ugly girlfriend feeds you popcorn on tv.  You suck.
Left Fielder - Grady Sizemore
I've seen those pictures with your shirt off, being taken in your bathroom with your own phone.  Dbag.
Center Fielder - BJ Upton
You think you are the shit, yet you aren't good.  No one wants you.  You don't get it, it's funny actually.
Right Fielder - JD Drew
Career underachiever.  Never seen a guy not care as much as him.  Get off of our tv.  Dbag.
Starting Pitcher - Jared Weaver
He may not be a douche, but if this were the all ugly team, he'd be the captain and the logo.
Starting Pitcher - Josh Beckett
You got hurt getting warmed up in the all star game?  Embarrassing.
Reliever - Brandon League
Nice neck tattoo.  That's it.
Closer - Jonathon Papelbon
You aren't tough.  You aren't.  Stop acting like it.  And you're ugly.  Douchebag.
Manager - Ron Washington
Just because it doesn't say you can't do coke on your contract, doesn't mean you can do coke as a manager.

That is all.  Wait, need a hot chic pic?  Ok, here you go....


1 comment:

  1. Cool. Yadier Molina is definitely at the top of the DOUCHEBAG list!