Friday, July 19, 2013

Top South Park Episodes 10-6

Here we go, we've reached the Top 10.  These are obviously classics that you can't turn off if you run into them on the tv some night. 

#10 The Tooth Fairy Tats 2000 - Season 4
Great plot line on this one.  Cartman loses a tooth and gets two bucks.  The boys try to get enough money to buy a Sega Dreamcast so they start stealing teeth.  Cartman's mom calls the dentist because she finds it unusual that he has lost 112 teeth.  Kyle is really torn up that his parents lied to him and the Tooth Fairy isn't real, he starts to question his own existence.  The boys get busted by Loogie, an Italian that runs the tooth trade.  He and his cronies get teeth from the graveyard, the morgue, and hockey games.  They put the teeth under the pillow, put a note on the parents door, and then come back later to collect the money.  Loogie is a kid, hilarious.  The boys decide to join Loogie since he threatened to cut off their penises.  Loogie tries to kill Kenny since the boys break off and start their own tooth trade.  They throw Kenny in the lake with concrete blocks tied to his feet, but the lake is only about a foot deep.  Both groups get busted when the American Dental Association announces that they are going to give a dying kid $600.00 for his lost tooth to help pay for his bone marrow transplant.  It was a setup.

#9 Scott Tenorman Must Die - Season 5
Starts off with Cartman bragging that he is the first to get pubes.  Turns out he bought them from Scott Tenorman.  He tries to get his money back and Scott tricks him out of more money.  Cartman plots revenge and tries to teach a pony how to bite off Scott's weiner.  Bite it pony, bite it, ha.  Cartman dubs a tape from Scott's favorite band Radiohead, saying how much they hate Scott.  Scott then plays a tape of Cartman singing like a little piggy.  Cartman is outraged and plans to get Radiohead to South Park and have Scott's penis bitten off in front of them for total humiliation.  The humiliation will take place at a chili cookoff, ha.  Stan and Kyle tell Scott about the plan so his parents go to adopt the pony from a farm to ruin Cartman's plan.  Scott makes a chili that has pubes from all the boys in South Park to feed to Cartman.  So the chili cookoff starts.  This is where it gets good.  Cartman is just devouring Scott's chili, everyone is laughing.  When Scott is about to tell Cartman about the ingredients, Cartman stops him and says he already knew.  He switched it with Chef's chili.  Cartman explains how he knew that Stan and Kyle would tell Scott of his pony plan.  Cartman reveals that his actually plan was to have the owner of the pony, shoot and kill Scott's parents when they went to get the pony.  While the owner was busy with the cops, Cartman stole the bodies, chopped them up and put them in the very chili Scott was eating.  Scott begins crying hysterically as he finds a finger in his chili, Cartman runs over and licks his tears.  Radiohead shows up and calls Scott a crybaby, which makes it even worse.  Horrified, Stan and Kyle vow to never piss off Cartman again.

#8 Something You Can Do With Your Finger - Season 4
Also titled, Fingerbang.  Cartman has a dream that they start a boy band and make 10 million dollars.  Thinking that this is a sign from God, he gets the boys to start a band.  They realize they need a fifth member.  They have auditions but no one is good except for Wendy.  Cartman doesn't want to let her in because you can't have a girl, and everyone will know she is a girl because of her huge freaking hooters.  Best part is when Stan asks, what does fingerbang mean?  Cartman says it's when you take your finger and make it look like a gun.  Kenny says, no, it's when you stick your finger inside a girls vagina.  The boys all think this is the grossest thing ever and Stan says, who in the hell would want to do that?  When Randy Marsh learns of the boy band, he loses it.  Turns out Randy was once in a boy band, but they didn't stay relevant because they got too old and he had to go back to South Park, shamed. When they arrive at the mall for their gig, Kenny is killed by an elevator so Randy has to join them.  They play at the mall and once everyone starts asking for autographs, they realize that their lives will change and decide to break up the band.  A good subplot is the boys trying to avoid the mall cops.  Here is the best line of the song sung by Cartman. "Girl you know that you're the only girl for me, girl, girl you're the girl of my fantasies, girlllll..........FINGERBANG!!!!

#7 Christian Rock Hard - Season 7
The boys breakup their band they call, Moop.  Cartman and Kyle make a bet that each other can make a platinum album before the other.  Stan, Kyle, and Kenny start downloading music illegally to find their direction.  Celebrity artists are furious and the kids are shown that by downloading music, the artists can't get the things they love, like expensive aquariums and G5's.  Skylers band is part of this group, remember Sklyer?  Cartman realizes how successful Christian bands are so he gets Butters and Token to join him.  Token says he can't play the bass, but Cartman insists that he can because he's black.  And of course, he can, ha.  Cartman takes normal songs and changes words like baby and honey, to Jesus.  Some songs get a little passionate and the Christian fans question that he may "love" Jesus a little too much, but Cartman works his way out of that one.  Cartman makes an album cover, which is hilarious in itself.  Faith + 1 is their name, they make a million dollars and Cartman spends every dollar to throw a party to receive his platinum album.  At the party, they realize you can only win Gold, Frankincence. and Myrrh albums.  Cartman is furious that he can't win his platinum album and starts cursing Jesus.  The fans are horrified.  Token beats up Cartman because he spent all their winnings.  Butters farts in Cartman's face, gives him the finger and says Fuck You Eric. 

#6 Make Love, Not Warcraft - Season 10
The boys joined World of Warcraft and are killed by a guy that has played this game every hour since it was released almost two years ago, he is unbeatable.  Randy joins too and he is killed immediately.  The part that makes this episode hilarious is the voice of the boys on the game characters.  Little things like when Clyde's guy is just moving around doing nothing, because he is looking at a Playboy magazine.  The gang decides that to kill this guy they need to play nonstop to get as many points as possible to launch an attack. So they play 21 hours a day for two months.  They get really fat, they eat hot pockets, Cartmans mom at one point brings a pan for Cartman to go to the bathroom in.  The montage song is one of the best songs ever on South Park.  Goes something like, Live to win, til you die, see the fire in your eye.  The owners of the game realize what is happening and they give the boys the Sword of a Thousand Truths to help them take out the dude.  The boys are already in battle so the owners give the sword to Randy's character to bring to the boys.  He logs on at a Best Buy and gets the sword to the boys as he is killed.  The boys defeat the griefer and all of the World of Warcraft characters celebrate.  Someone asks, well what do we do now?  Are you kidding, we can finally play the game now.  So they go on playing.


Thanks for reading....


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