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#5 Professor Chaos - Season 6
I personally wasn't a big fan of the Professor Chaos character, but the spoof on the Bachelor is what made this episode awesome. Since Kenny "died" the boys needed a fourth friend. They had 20 local boys tryout, a la the Bachelor. Token, Timmy, Tweek, Jimmy, Towelie, and Pip made it into the final six. Token won the talent contest by making his t-shirt look like a bra and danced, ha. Jimmy got massive points because they got to skip ahead of everyone at the amusement park because Jimmy is crippled. Jimmy then lost a lot of points because they had to shut down a ride because there was a cripple kid that needed assistance. Towelie was eliminated because he's always too high to be counted on. Timmy was eliminated because he's too self-centered, because all he says is Timmy. Jimmy brought them a gift basket, he was eliminated for being a suck up. Pip was eliminated because he asked where the tea and crumpets were at the baseball game. So in the end, Tweek was the winner. Watching Tweek stress out over every rose ceremony was another highlight. I think he lasted about three episodes. As for Professor Chaos, Butters did have some pretty funny pranks. Switching peoples soups at Bennigans was my favorite, ha.
#4 Raisins - Season 7
Starts off with Bebe telling Stan that Wendy is breaking up with him. Stan takes it hard, he cries in the rain. Stan tries to get her back by having Jimmy talk to her for him. Jimmy tries to tell Wendy that she is a continuing source of inspiration to Stan. But Jimmy keeps stuttering and saying, Stan says you're a cunt..., Stan says you're a cunt. HA. Stan is down in the dumps so the gang decides to take him to Raisins to cheer him up. Raisins is a knock off of Hooters. The girls are all their age, and their names are Mercedes, Porsche, Ferrari, and Lexus. The boys are all in love and Butters falls in love with Lexus because she shows him so much attention. Her famous line is, Hey there cutie, which she says to every boy. Stan thinks the only way to get Wendy back is to do something romantic. So he stands outside her window and plays "Shock the Monkey". She doesn't dig it, and she is actually in her room with Token. Stan starts hanging out with the Goth kids who are all about non-conformity, but they get Stan to conform to their ways. Butters parents meet his "girlfriend" at Raisins. Butters mom says, Little girl, you shouldn't be working here. But then Lexus is so dumb, Butters mom says, Well, maybe you should be working here. When Butters is told by Lexus that they are not together, he cries. He doesn't join the Goth kids because he says he'd rather be sad than hang out with faggy Goth kids. Stan gets over it and calls Wendy a bitch and gives Token the finger, and says, Token, right here buddy.
#3 Douche and Turd - Season 8
PETA has a problem with South Park having a cow as their mascot. So the children get to pick a new mascot. They think this is stupid and they try to be funny. Cartman tries to get everyone to vote for the Turd Sandwich. Kyle gets everyone to vote for the Giant Douche. Those two win out and they have a pep rally for the students to see the new mascot contestants. Every time I see Turd Sandwich come out to "Who Let the Dogs Out" I almost lose it. And he has an olive on the sandwich, ha. Giant Douche comes out to, "You All Ready for This?!?" He then says, We like douches yes we do, we like douches how bout you?? Stan decides he doesn't want to vote. He tells his parents at dinner and they are pissed at him. But they end up getting pissed at each other because they can't agree on who should win, the douche or the turd. Kyle gets Puff Daddy to come to South Park to convince Stan to vote. Remember Puffy's Vote or Die Campaign,? Ha. The Vote or Die music video was beyond funny. Favorite verse? Shake them titties when you vote bitch. Or maybe, You can't run from my .45 go ahead and try. Or maybe, Vote or I'll slit your throat and you won't have a fucking voice. Stan gets sent out of town for not voting. The townspeople put him on a horse, spit on him, and force him to leave. He makes it to a PETA compound where PETA gets pissed that he is riding a horse. PETA lives like the animals, going to the bathroom on the ground and such. One guy even mated with a llama. PETA tells Stan that voting is always between a douche and a turd because those are the only people that suck up enough to make it that far in politics. Puffy shows up and PETA throws a bucket of blood on his fur coat. A shootout ensues, Stan escapes. Stan votes for Turd Sandwich but it loses by a landslide. Randy is proud of him for voting. They then hear that PETA was murdered and they can keep the cow as their mascot. Randy says, well, I guess your vote didn't count.
#2 Asspen - Season 6
This episode is great for so many reasons. The music is spot on. The parody of 80's movies is awesome. Always stays on my DVR. Definitely contemplated making it number one. Starts off with the kids and their families going to Apsen They get to go for free because the parents are sitting through a timeshare presentation. Cartman gives Butters a "shitler". When the ski instructor points it out, hilarious. Hey little dude, you got some shit under your nose, ha. The instructor shows the boys how to pizza and how to French fry. Remember, if you French fry when you should pizza, you're gonna have a bad time. Ike tries to ski and French fry's the whole way and flies into a building. Subplot is that the parents keep getting roped into more meetings and can't get out. The whole town is in on it, even the cops. They threaten them and make the parents stay. Tad, a local badass skier, taunts Stan and challenges him to a race because Stan stole his girlfriend, Heather. Stan agrees to race, he loses as expected. A girl invited Stan to the Aspen Youth Center. They find out that Tad's dad is going to tear down the Youth Center. The boys don't care. Tad sings a song at the dance called, Stan Darsh. He just keeps saying it until Stan flips out. He challenges him to a rematch. They agree that if Stan wins, they'll save the Youth Center. They are going to race down The K13. Some local tells them how no one survives the K13. The boys try to talk Stan out of it, he says, He took Heather!!!! So Stan practices and they have a montage. The song is awesome. Lines like, remind everyone of what's going on. Always fade out in a montage. If you fade out it looks like more time has passed, in a montage. Tad is killing Stan in the race but he keeps setting up traps to slow down Stan. Stan just ski's around them. The nerdy girl from the Youth Center shows Tad her tits and distracts him. Stan wins, he saves the Youth Center. Heather wants Stan back, he doesn't care, he's never even met her. The boys tell their parents Aspen sucks and they go back to South Park.
#1 Guitar Queer-O - Season 11
The king of all South Park episodes. The story is just perfect. I watched it while writing this. I had to cut out half of the stuff I wanted to write because there is just too much. Episode starts out with Stan and Kyle playing Guitar Hero. All the boys are there cheering them on. Randy is confused because he can play the songs on a real guitar. The boys don't care and think he is lame. The boys break the 100K mark by playing "Carry on Wayward Son" by Kansas. While playing, a guy shows up from Kincaid Talent Agency, he signs them to a contract. One of the best lines is when the agent plays the song for his boss. The boss says, That's these boys? The agent says, No, but these boys scored 100,000 points, on expert level, in co-op mode. Boss says, That's pretty God damned impressive. They boys go to a sex and coke party in Denver. Local celebrities are there including Jay Cutler. Stan says, My dad says you kinda suck but you might be good someday. Jay says thanks. The host tells them that there is plenty of coke and sex in the house. Stan and Kyle realize that they have finally made it in life. The agent tells Stan that he can make 1 million points, but needs to lose Kyle. He hooks up with Thad Jarvis, a brilliant Guitar Hero player. He can play without the music and the game, just the guitar. Kyle gets pissed and breaks it off with Stan. He plays at a bowling alley called Mick's Lanes. He plays songs like Every Rose has it's Thorn. Mick gives him free Fresca's to play there. Stan is stressed out about playing in front of people to try to break 1 one million points. He starts to play a new game called Heroin Hero. He gets hooked and stays up all night trying to catch the dragon. Thad quits and Stan bombs at the show. The agent yells, Listen to that video crowd, they hate you!!! Stan wants another game, the store clerk offers him Rehab Hero, ha. He decides on a driving game. While driving he listens to the radio and the host talks about how some local boys use to play Guitar Hero to this song by Kansas, what ever happened to those boys. To me, the best part is when Stan stops his car in the game, ponders, and then looks over his shoulder and drives backwards like he is going back to Kyle, ha. He goes to the alley and gets Kyle back. They play and score one million points. The game says, You have played enough to score 1 million points, YOU....ARE.....FAGS!!!!
I read that this episode had over 4 million viewers and was the most watched South Park at that time. But they got a lot of bad reviews. Who in the hell would give that episode bad reviews? US Weekly?
Thanks for reading. Any suggestions for the next list?
Curt
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